SMS Jokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is a good collection of SMS jokes. Keep watching this page. We will update it very often.. 

 

Husbnd maricha bharyra patratil kodutatu
“savasamskaratil sambandichavarku nandi”
enu,Sumithra,Hindu Nair,32vayas,Velutaniram,Kuttikalilla

 

Neenda idavelaku sesham PAPPEE APPACHAyil Dileep-Kavya veendum onnikunnu.
Nalla ‘gap’ feel cheythennu Dileep.
Ithra valiya ‘gap’nu karanam vivaham aanennu Kavya.

 

Sania mirza married with pak cricketer shuhaib malik.

Moral: pathaayathil nellundenkil eli moonnaril ninnum varum…

 

പെണ്‍കുട്ടികള്‍ ഇല്ലാത്ത ഒരു ലോകത്തെക്കുറിച്ച് ആലോചിച്ചു നോക്കൂ

റോഡുകള്‍ നിശബ്ദം,

കാലിയായ കോളേജുകള്‍,

പോലീസുകാര്‍ വിശ്രമത്തില്‍.. മൊബൈല്‍ കമ്പനികള്‍ നഷ്ടത്തില്‍..
ഗിഫ്റ്റ് ഷോപുകള്‍ അടച്ചു പൂട്ടും.

മദ്യവും പെട്രോളും ബൈക്കും കുറ്റകൃത്യങ്ങളും പോലും ഉണ്ടാവില്ല..
എല്ലാ ആണ്‍കുട്ടികളും സ്വര്‍ഗത്തില്‍ പോകും…

അപ്പോള്‍, പ്രശനം പെണ്‍കുട്ടികള്‍ തന്നെ …..

 

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എന്നും ഒരേ പല്ലവി ….

ഗുഡ് നൈറ്റ്‌.. സ്വീറ്റ് ഡ്രീംസ്‌ .. അല്ലെ
ബോറയില്ലേ .. ഒരു ചേഞ്ച്‌ അയികൊട്ടേ

പണ്ടാരം .. അവിടെങ്ങാന്‍ പൊയ് കിടന്നുറങ്ങാന്‍ നോക്ക് …

——————

If you pass Exam :-

Mom : സന്തോഷമായ് മോനെ …
Dad: 
കൊള്ളാമെടാ മോനെ
Lover : sweets 
എവിടെ ഡാര്‍ലിംഗ്
Friend : 
കൂടെ നിന്ന് കാലു വാരിയില്ലെ..

—————

Behind every successful Man, there is a Woman
…..

So Don’t try and waste time to gain Success

just find that Woman

 

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Only 842 girls are left for every 1000 boys…Save Girls, we can save the tigers later….

പുലി വേണോ ഫിഗര്‍ വേണോ …. :

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Lunch Bagil Lunch Kondu Pokan Pattum…
But School Bagil School Kondu Pokan Pattumo???

Bus stoppinte aduthu wait cheythal BUS varum…
Full stoppinte aduthu wait cheythal oru FULL varumo…???
..potte oru quarter engilum…

Auto Driver Ayal Auto Odikkan Pattum!!!
But Screw Driver Ayal screw Odikkan Pattumo???

Idly Podi Thotu Idly Kazhikkam,
Ennal Mooku Podi Thotu Mooku kazhikkam pattumo??

Engineering Collegil Padichal Engineer Akam.
Ennal Presidency Collegil Padichal President Akan Pattumo??

Cycilil poyal cycling aavum …
Trainil poyal athu training aavumoo??

Nammal kadayil poyi 501 bar soap vangikumbol kadakkaran nammukku
oru soap mathram tharunnu..
Bakki 500 soap evide poyennu aarengilum chinthichittundo??

Oru cuticura powder idumbol…
athinte ammacurayem achancurayem evide ennu anweshichittundoo? paavam cuticura …

thengeennu thengaa veezhum ..
maavennu maanga veezhum ..
plaavennu plaangaa entha vizhathe ??

 

 

 

……………………

Boys are those creatures, who even after going to Hell say…..

അളിയാ ദേ നോക്കിയേ യമരാജന്റെ മകള്‍ …. കിടിലന്‍ പീസ്

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A man got 2 wishes from GOD.

He asked the the best drink & best woman ever ?

Next moment, he got Mineral water & Mother Teresa

Moral : Be specific on your needs

………………

A guy setting up password while wife sitting besides.

He typed in PENIS as his password. Wife fell off her chair laughing –
Why ?

……!

. The PC replied :-

PASSWORD NOT LONG ENOUGH

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CLASSROOM JOKES

Teacher to student-You make the same mistake as ur bench mate! What will u say about it?
Student-Sir, we have the same teacher!

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The first Testicular Guard was used in Cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that Brain is also important.

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DOCTOR JOKESThe doctor was just leaving d patient who was critically ill.DOCTOR-I’ll see u tomorrow.
PATIENT-’I don’t doubt that.But shall I see u?

………..

Wife:ningalku snehikan ariyilla.
Husband: pinne e 3 pillere INTERNET il ninnu download cheythathanodi!
Wife:alla adutha veetile Sudhakarante PENDRIVIL ninnanu

—————-

By the time you realise what your parents said was right..

 

You will have a kid who begins to think you are wrong.

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Oruthane snehichu mattoruthane kalyanam kazhichu veroruthante kunjine prasavicha sthreeyude kadha ASIANETil .,
marakkathe kaanuka
.
.
.
‘PATHIVRITHA’ ..;-)

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Tintu-kuttikku enne ishtamanenkil nale wite dres idanam
dundu mol nxt day blak dres itu.
Tntumn 2 his frnd:
“Kalli, avalke ‘ULLIL” ishtamund. Kuninjapol njan kandeda

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Naughty kid- u know y mom n dad in room since 3days?
Sister: no, bt y r u laughing?
Kid: dad need vaseline tube & i gave him feviquick.

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Tintumon- marikkukayaanenkil ente appooppane pole urakkathil onnum ariyathe marikkanam , allathe vere chilare pole “kaari koovi karanju bahalam vachu marikkaruthu”
Chinju mol-
Aara angane mariche?
Tintu mon-
Ente appooppan odicha busile yathrakar..

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MARRIAGE JOKESIts my wife’s b’day 2mrw.Wen I askd her wat she wantd as gift she said ‘Just giv me sumthn wid diamonds.So I’m giving her a pack f playing cards

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TITNTU MONE KANMANILLA:velutha niram,karutha mudi,
3 adi pokkam,
4 1/2 adi naakku,vayassu-5,prayathinokkatha samsaram,malayalam,hindi,tamil enni bhashakalil nannayi theri vilikum…kandukittunavar dayavayi mind cheiyathe pokuka..njangal samadhanamayi onnu jeevichotte-ACHAN,AMMA..

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4 girls in Interview

Boss: normally a women has two mouths, tell me diff betwn them?

Girl 1: Sir, one can talk & another cannot

Girl 2: Sir, one is horizontal another is vertical!

Girl 3: Sir 1 is hairy another is not

Girl 4: Sir, one is for myself, another for my Boss
Boss: U R appointed..

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Japanese Proverb:

If one Can do it,
U too Can do it,
If none Can do it,U must do it

Indian version:

If one Can do it,
LET HIM DO it..
If none Can do it,LEAVE it!!

And finally
Kerala version:

If one can do it, Stop him frm doing it..
& If none can do it, Make a strike against it.
KERALA ROCKS..

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Father to daughter:
Munbu nee enne Papa ennale vilichirunath’.
Ippo entha acha ennu vilikkunath’?
Papa ennu vilichal ente lipstick pokum…”.–

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A boy prays 2 Ravan n pleases him
Ravan-u hav 3 wishes
Boy-No i want 100 wishes
Ravan-No i can only giv u 3
Boy-Wat do u hav in ur hand
Ravan-Thats a gada
Boy-I wish dat d gada may turn to stick
Ravan turns d gada into stick
Boy-I wish u to put dat stick in ur ass
surprisingly n hesitatingly ravan does dat
Boy-Now i want u to give me my 98 wishes
or i will wish that stick to turn back to gada

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Ticket seller: Boss,no one is ready to buy tickets for Prathviraj ’s movie
Owner: Sell it at Re.1 each
Ticket Seller:Boss we wont get profit
Owner: Once they enter the theatre, close d doors nd after 10min start selling “EXIT” tickets at Rs 200 each.

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0n walkin in2 d factry, the MD noticd a young guy leanin against the wall, lukin sum wr
He approachd d young man n calmly asked him, “how much do u earn?”
The guy was amazed n said, “$2000 sir”
The MD took out his wallet and gave the guy $6000 and told him”i pay ppl here to work, and not to waste time.
This is ur 3 months salary and now get out of here.
Neva come back”. He turned around and quickly disappeared.
The MD now looked at the other perplexed workers and asked “who was dat guy?”.
The workers replied “he was the pizza delivery guy sir”. .
MORAL-Orupaadu over aakarathu

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Enthokke BAHALAM ayirunnu
Dhonide strategy…
Yuvrajnte stamina…
Rainede hope…
Gambirnte scoop…
Rohitnte kop…
vijaid thenga…….
Harbajante thalakett…
Pathante vedikett…
Zahirnte yorker…
Jadejayude nikker…
Pravin swing…..
Theernnallo Kooth !! Karanamentha….?

“Sreeshantinte Prakk…”

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4 MEN IN A PRISON CELL –
A RAPIST
A MURDERER
A PSYCO
&
A GAY

THE RAPIST –
IF THERE WAS A CAT HERE I’D FUCK IT TILL IT DIE

THE MURDERER –
ONCE YOUR DONE WITH IT, I’D TORTURE IT TO DEATH

THE PSYCO –
OH YEAH & ONCE IT’S DEAD I’D FUCK IT TILL I DIE

THE GAY IN THE CORNER SAYS VERY SOFTLY with hope
“MEOOW”

—————

Chemistry class.
lecturer: Rani what is NITRATE?

Rani: Rs.2500+ 1beer & biryani+ Hotel room rent. (condom must) CD charge extra.

This is my NIGHT RATE sir…

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Teacher : Annaante purathu sreeraman thalodiyappolanu 3 paadukal undayathu.
Tintumon : Appol. Seethayude purathu enthayirikum sthithi….??

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Sardar was zoo watchman. Manager: Thaninnale simhathinte kood nannayi adachillayirunno? Sardar: Illa sir.., simhathine aaru pidichukondu pokana?

——————-
”Money is not a big thing in life, but earn enough money before you talk such nonsense…”
-Bill Gates.

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We live in a funny nation, where Pizza reaches home faster dan d Ambulance or Police. Where u’ll get car loan at 5% but education loan at 12%. Where v make lemon drinks out of artificial flavours nd dishwash liquid out of real lemon… A Joke But truth…

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Wife:Ningalk jewllary kadayil joli kitiyitu pokunnillenno?Sardar:Avide jolikku pokunnathu verutheyaa,”PANIKKOOLI ILLA” Ennu Avide Board kandu.

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LKG QUOTATIONS:

If swimming is a gud xercise 2stay fit, y whales r fat?

Y is dat evry1 wants 2go 2heaven bt nobdy wantz 2die?

Shal i say dat der is racial discrimnatn in chess as white piece s movd 1st?

In our cuntry,v hv freedom 4 speech,den y telephone bills?

If mony dosn’t grow as trees den y do banks hv branchs?

Y does a round piza cum in a square bx?

Y dsn’t glu stik 2its botle?

Y do u stil cal it building wen its alredy built?

If its tru dat v r here 2help others,for wat othrs here for?

if u r not suppos 2 drink nd drive,y do bars hv parkin lotz?

V r funny people livin in a seriously funny way..

ENjoY..

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